Switch on....
Q: Why wouldn't the electrician fix the broken plug?
A: Because he had to refuse.
Wednesday 31 December 2008
Tuesday 30 December 2008
Monday 29 December 2008
Come To Bournemouth!
Q: Where in England does everyone go around plastered in corporate sponsorship?
A: In Dorset.
Saturday 27 December 2008
1000th Joke! Let's Make Fun Of Little People
Q: How do midgets get around town?
A: In minicabs.
Q: How do midget criminals get around town?
A: In illegal minicabs.
Thanks to FB with that one. Well done to us lot, proof that we are all about quantity over quality!
The Goldmine That Is The French Language
Q: Where do French eyes go swimming?
A: At the les yeux centre.
Steady Hands
Q: Which Mongolian warlord's empire was built of loads of wooden blocks?
A: Jengas Khan.
Friday 26 December 2008
fvbxcv;h
Which pioneering electronic music guy has to be assembled from small plastic parts and then painted as per the instructions?
The Airfix Twin
A big thanks to my brother for the punchline
Why should traders on the stock market buy up lots of priests?
Because they're good in vestments
Wednesday 24 December 2008
I think this might have been made before...
Q: What is Fidel Castro's favourite pastime?
A: Cuba Diving.
Tuesday 23 December 2008
Beefy!
Q: What happened nine months after the two butchers got married?
A: They heard the platter of tiny meat.
Sunday 21 December 2008
Wednesday 17 December 2008
They Are Wicked At Charades
Q: Which French city is always painting their face and prancing around in public thoroughfares pretending to be in an invisible box and generally acting like pricks?
A: Marseille Marceau.
They have a duet of water cabinets there, you know
Which French city has the highest incidence of male genital warts?
Tool ooze
Monday 15 December 2008
Star Wars Episode 5: The Tutsi's Strike Back
Q: Which Star Wars character committed mass genocide in rwanda?
A: Jabba The Hutu.
Star Wars Episode 4: A New Low
Q: What type of music was being played at the incident of the previous two jokes?
A: Gabba The Hut.
Star Wars Episode 3: The Revenge Of The Lisp
Q: Which Star Wars character died of an overdose during one of the preceeding joke's sets?
A: Princess Leia Betts.
Star Wars Episode 2: Attack Of The Groans
Q: Which Star Wars character is the best at mixing pumping choons?
A: Darth Cross Fader.
Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Punchline
Q: Which Star Wars character has a great aptitude for detecting homosexuals?
A: Darth Gaydar.
Fyodor er, sex-toyevsky (sort of works)
What was the name of Dostoyevsky's little-known porn novel?
Hymen Punishment
Well, there's no need for that sort of language
What did the foul-mouthed driving instructor say to the enlightenment philosopher who wasn't able to work the clutch?
It's Emmanuel, Kant!
Friday 12 December 2008
Why are all my jokes so borderline xenophobic?
What is the incendiary weapon of choice for Jewish people when they fancy a bit of a riot?
The mozzel toff cocktail
Friday 5 December 2008
Fun with Islam
Why were the Imams rounded up and charged with disturbing the peace?
Because they were running a mosque
Tuesday 2 December 2008
Pampered Pampers
Did you hear that Huggies have commissioned Grace Jones to write a song for their new nappy for fat infants? It's called Pull-ups for the Bumper Baby.
Very little, very late
Q. Which cult film director can be found raving to a bit of 90s eurodance?
A. Quentin Tarantino, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's no limit
Monday 1 December 2008
Getting On Yer High Horse
Q: Which Evertonian is fond of horse tranquilisers?
A: Tim K-Hole.
Thanks to Mike Albert, continuing his good work...
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