The Secrets Of International Diplomacy
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Ping Pong Sing Song
Q: What do Roger Federer and a chat-room groomer have in common?
A: They both lurk about the net looking to smash little balls.
could use a little work! Any suggestions?
Saturday, 18 July 2009
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Flogging The Unfunny Horse
Mr Pantomime: "Sorry, do you know where my best years are?"
Mr Entertainment History: "They're behind you!"
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Allegedly
Which affable cockney actor likes to cut the dermis off prostitutes and parade around in jackets made from their desecrated flesh?
Bob Ho-skins
Monday, 6 July 2009
There Is No Redemption For This One
Q: How do Germans greet a Hollywood star who's just been released after a night in the cells?
A: Guten Morgan Freeman.
Better read than said number whatever number it is
Why do they only employ Australians or New Zealanders as dean at the multi-faith ant/ hippo university?
Because they're ant-hippo-deans
Friday, 3 July 2009
Hello ladies - No. 2 (essentially the same joke as the previous one)
Q: Why couldn't any of the women understand the single man's handwriting?
A: Because he was an illegible bachelor.
Hello ladies - No. 1
Q: Why did all the women want to use the same kitchen utensil to flip their pancakes?
A: Because it was an eligible spatula.
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Monster hits
Which species of dinosaur, despite its tiny arms, never travels without its um-berella?
Rihannasaurus Rex
Good bacteria for those jurassic guts
Which airborne dinosaur subsisted on a diet of probiotic yoghurt?
Pterodactimel
And another! These terrible lizards are a joke goldmine!
Which species of dinosaur was made entirely from large lego bricks?
Duplodocus
Reader, I am an anachronism.
Which species of dinosaur (and her sisters) wrote a range of novels full of scenes of nineteenth century domesticity?
Brontesaurus
Dinosaurs are back!
Which species of dinosaur founded a chain of men's clothing stores dealing in cravats and other neckwear and accessories?
Tie-rack-osaurus
Monday, 29 June 2009
Friday, 26 June 2009
Thursday, 18 June 2009
It's not Vienna- that's not even in the Mediterranean!
Which Balaeric Island does the lead singer of Ultravox like to visit on holiday?
Midge-Ure-ca
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Sex Files on Main Street
Why did Mick Jagger go on a rampage after discovering that his favourite publisher of lesbian porn novels had gone out of business?
Because he couldn't get no sapphic fiction
Sunday, 14 June 2009
I've never heard a cornea punchline
Why did the technophile surgeon decide to replace his spouse's optic nerve?
Because he wanted a better wife-eye connection
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Gramatically bad linguisitc joke.
Q: Why did the French man have a special place to hide all his money?
A: It was his caché.
Friday, 12 June 2009
In Exile From Main Street
Q: Why did Mick Jagger fail to overthrow the government?
A: Because he can't get no rebel faction.
Tara you rebel, thanks for the awful joke.
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Monday, 8 June 2009
A bit rude for my taste, but I'll post it anyway
Which American band likes to spend their time whipping vaginal labia?
The Flay-minge-lips
Tellybox
The BBC has commissioned a new gritty soap opera set in a Belgian port. It’s called OstEnders.
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