It's In The Delivery...

Q: Where in Africa is take-away food most popular?

A: Togo.

Old, But Definitely Not Gold.

Plastic People

Q: Why does Ken choose to go to cultural centres in London?

A: Because Barbican.

Meteorology Is Never Funny

Q: Where does air pressure go to practice law?

A: At the isobar.

Nazi Cuisine

Q: What do you get if you cross noodles with a fascist tract?

A: Chicken Chow Mein Kampf.

Retail Classics

Q: Which two classical composers should you take with you to the supermarket?

A: Chopin, Liszt.

The Girl With The Pearl Necklace

Q: Why did Scarlett Johansson fail her French exam?

A: Beacause she was last in translation.

Don't Fuck With Devon. Or Hippies.

Q: Why should you be wary of incense and young English soul singers?

A: Beacause Joss Sticks and Joss Stone can break your bones....

Where The Streets Have No Name

Q: Where is Bono's favourite area in London?

A: Acton, Baby!

Works Better When Said Aloud, But Not By Much

25 Is The Magic Number

Q: Which atomic element is fluent in Japanese comics?

A: Manganese.

The Frying Squad

Q: Why are the Police always raiding cake shops?

A: Because the proof is in the pudding.

Frozen Assets

Q: What was the highest honour bestowed on Captain Birdseye?

A: He was awarded the Nobel Peas Prize.

Bird Joke Compendium No.4

Pimp My City

Q: Where do French prostitutes go when they visit Pakistan?

A: Lahore.

You Make Me Feel Like A Piss Tube

Q: Which soul singer sounds the most like part of the penis?

A: Urethra Franklin.

Cinematic Alexander Pope Quotes

McMinimalist Clan

Encoding Jokes 3: Please Stop

Q: Why did Steve Irwin prefer the benefits of HD DVD?

A: Because he was once stung by a Blu-Ray.

Paris, Greece

Q: Why was Helen of Troy hired as the Spokesperson for a new laxative?

A: Because she was the face that launched a thousand shits.

Misheard Blockbuster

National Lampoon's ASBO Adventure

Q: What do you get if you cross an American comic actor with a Burberry-wearing youth running away from the law?


A: Chavy Chase.

The Not-So-Thin Man

Q: What do you get if you cross a Dashiell Hammett novel with a chocolate?

A: The Malteser Falcon.

Esoteric East European Explained

Q: What do Mikheil Saakashvili and Ray Charles have in common?

A: They both have Georgia on their mind.

This Joke Should Really Be Extinct

Q: What do you call a Greek dinosaur?

A: A Diplopadopoulos.

Numb Numbers

Q: What do you call a fake number game?

A: A Pseudo-Ku.

Geeks With Hygiene Issues (Like NWA Without The A Or The N)

Q: What is the smelliest computer game ever?

A: Pong.

Ezekiel 25:17 Without The Bloodshed

Q: Why won't Samuel L Jackson fly with Easyjet?

A: Because there's no snacks on the plane.

Hong Kong Pong

Q: What was the ugliest period in Chinese history?

A: The Ming Dynasty.

Diplomatic Dinners

Q: What does the Secretary-General of the United Nations eat after a night out on the town?

A: A Kofte Annan Kebab.