Izzy Wizzy
Q:What fast food takeway is simply magic?
A:AbraKebabra
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Friday, 28 November 2008
It's sort of another Tarantino joke...
Which posh rentboy does James Bond go to see when he's feeling abit down?
The Quentin of Solace
Thursday, 27 November 2008
1978-79
Q: Why are ravers not bothered by the recession at the moment?
A: Because it's the winter of disco tent.
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Where the Streeps Have no Name
I went to see the latest Streep film last night. It was great! Steve Buscemi played this mad inventor who also happened to be a huge Streep-o-phile and decided he was going to create a perfect Streep clone so he could live out all his deepest fantasies. Unfortunately, some of his science was a bit wonky, so he ended up creating all sorts of Streep-based chimaera. Eventually, these monstrosities were taking over his house and he found he didn't have room to conduct his experiments anymore, so he just stacked them all up in his cellar- even though they retained some dim form of consciousness- 'til there was just a huge mountain of bodies in there. Anyway, once again free to work, he evntually succeeded in creating his perfect clone. Unfortunately for him, it contained all the spunk and feistiness of the original, and was appalled when she found out about her sisters piled in the basement. So, the perfect clone mobilised the Streep-heap, burned down Buscemi's house with him inside, and went off to found their own Streep-topia somewhere in the Indian Ocean. Anyway, it was fantastic; I really enjoyed it. Only trouble was, I wasn't allowed to take my four-year-old son- who's a Streep fanatic- to see it. I kicked up a fuss, but the people at the cinema insisted it wasn't allowed. Apparently it's because the film contains scenes of piled Meryl.
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
OK, I give up, I'll make a Quentin Tarantino joke
Q: Which film director is giving up?
A: Quitting Tarantino.
Tara n Tina
Q. Which Tarantino film is a hard hitting crime drama about a group of ugly girls who hang out at a hydroelectric substation?
A. Reservoir Dogs
Monday, 24 November 2008
Quack quack, motherfuckers
Which classic Tarantino film depicts the struggles of a grieving family and a pair of gangsters against a horde of vampiric waterfowl?
From Ducks 'til Down
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Friday, 21 November 2008
Quen-tin-opener Taran-tin-opener
Q) When Quentin Tarantino has too little fibre in his diet, what's the result?
A) Poop friction
From Dusk Til Dawn
Q) Which subatomic particle is the laboured punchline to this joke, ostensibly referring to a certain cult film director?
A) Quantum Ta-neutrino
Thursday, 20 November 2008
Quentin Tarantino Week on Homemade Jokes
Q: Which film director wants to be a millionaire?
A: Chris Tarrantino.
Courtesy of Pete Searles.
Food or sleep? Food or sleep? Food or sleep?
Q: Which cake ingredient makes you really sleepy?
A: Temarzipan.
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Killed Bill: Now Doing The Time
Q: Which film director is least likely to be buggered in a prison shower?
A: San Quentin Taratin-oh, no you fucking don't.
Well if you're all going to provoke me into being silly, this is what you get.
Poop Fiction
Q) Which cult film director is really nifty when it comes to opening tin cans?
A) Quentin Tarantinopener
More Spooner Fun!
Which bequiffed, dyslexic film director loves to go exploring, but often ends up shut away in foreign hospitals for fear that he may spread infectious diseases?
Tintin Quarantino
Monday, 17 November 2008
Oh Big Brother
I was walking down the street the other day and i saw Jade Goody with a pigeon stuffed on her head. So I go "Jade, what you doin' Jade? You got a pigeon on yer head?!" and she said "Haven't you seen Heat magazine? I'm up the dove again!".
Sunday, 16 November 2008
21 Seconds To Shoplift
Q: Why are the So Solid Crew banned from upmarket department stores?
A: Because Harvey nicks.
Saturday, 15 November 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
