The Lead Pipe in the Drawing Room
Q: Which Cluedo character always needs a poo?
A: Colonel Must Turd.
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Monday, 19 October 2009
Warning: This joke contains references of a football-related nature and should not be read by those with a Hirekatsu-like disposition
Which Aston Villa player has fifty different names for snow?
Emile Heskey-mo
Friday, 16 October 2009
My Mate John's Mate Leon Make Up This Gem!
Q: What do you call a nun who used to be a man who can pick up radio 4 on her braces?
A: A trans-sister-radio.
Great stuff! Thanks Leon, whoever you are!
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
Inuitticism
Q: How is cancer treated at the North Pole?
A: With Eskimotherapy.
This little gem is from the great Patroc Daltron, you can read his amusing rhetoric here!
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Not very topical at all
What was the favourite talent show of the East German secret police?
Stasi-n Their Eyes
Friday, 9 October 2009
Thursday, 8 October 2009
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
Gogogoch!
A: I climbed a mountain in Wales the other day; weather was awful!
B: Snowdon?
A: Well, it was more sleety, but that was still pretty bad!
Grumpy Brass
Q: What do you call a prostitute who can't stop complaining and whinging about her rancid itchy minge?
A: A hormone.
Monday, 5 October 2009
Another honeymoon chortle
Q: At the French Open, what did John McEnroe say to the umpire, who also happened to be a duck?
A: You canard be serious.
Sunday, 4 October 2009
One I made up on honeymoon
Q: What do you call a person who gets turned on by Greek cheese?
A: A Fetashist.
Friday, 2 October 2009
If you've got a problem, if no one else can help, try your mum.
Post A-Team, what is Dirk Benedict's favourite band?
Face No More
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Me again
Why was the obsessive pedicurist always nicking things from his customers?
Because he was a clip-toe maniac
Monday, 14 September 2009
Crunch
The government today was trying to talk up this countries economy.Peter Mandelson was reported to say that we are experiencing green shoots.In response to his comment the Chancellor Alastair Darling said that he expects buds in May.
Thursday, 10 September 2009
I've been away for a while.
Q: There are two vans sitting in a parking lot. How can you tell which is the more extravagant and flamboyant of the two?
A: The camper van.
Monday, 7 September 2009
Cosmic Horse- finger on the pulse
Why was Shilpa Shetty so upset when somebody gave her an expenseive green jewel as a present?
Because she doesn't like jade goodies
Interesting image
Which Grammy award-winning composer wrote the Pink Panther theme while wearing a revealing item of male swimwear?
Henry Mankini
Friday, 4 September 2009
A quivering, gelatinous chunk of mystery meat
A) My wife went to a restaurant in south-east London the other day - the food was dreadful, like something you'd feed your pet.
B) Catford?
A) No, more like dog food, but horrible all the same.
Thursday, 3 September 2009
Sunday, 23 August 2009
A very convenient pun
Why do mathematicians love it when Bill Clinton's vice president dances?
Because he uses Al Gore rhythms
Thursday, 20 August 2009
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Betblah blah de blah blah blah
A: My friend from the North West is very concerned about ethical eating habits.
B: Vegan?
A: No, I think he's from Ormskirk
Monday, 17 August 2009
Better when blah blah blah
A: When I go to visit my friends, they always make sure I have a nice warm cover on my bed.
B: Do they?
A: Well, it's more of an old-fashioned bedspread, but it's a very nice gesture nonetheless.
Sunday, 9 August 2009
Just weird
Why did the racist Cumberland sausages decide to commit genocide against their smooth, red-skinned and extra spicy brethren?
Because they said they came from a primitive saveloysation
Football joke. It's been a while.
Which Arsenal player is made entirely of pasta and mince?
Bacary Lasagne
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