Does This Actually Make Sense?

Q: How do you honour unclean teeth?

A: With plaque.

I Found The Missing Joke Book!!!!!!

Q: Why are sailors never late for a wedding?

A: Because it's maritime.

There is only a few left but hopefully it will get the creative juices running.

Its gone a bit quiet around here lately...

Q: How do buffalo celebrate their 200th birthday?

A: They have a bisontenary.


Courtesy of Matt 'Fernando' Hull.

The Lead Pipe in the Drawing Room

Q: Which Cluedo character always needs a poo?

A: Colonel Must Turd.

Use zee little grey seeds!

Warning: This joke contains references of a football-related nature and should not be read by those with a Hirekatsu-like disposition

Which Aston Villa player has fifty different names for snow?

Emile Heskey-mo

My Mate John's Mate Leon Make Up This Gem!

Q: What do you call a nun who used to be a man who can pick up radio 4 on her braces?

A: A trans-sister-radio.


Great stuff! Thanks Leon, whoever you are!

Inuitticism

Q: How is cancer treated at the North Pole?

A: With Eskimotherapy.


This little gem is from the great Patroc Daltron, you can read his amusing rhetoric here!

Not very topical at all

What was the favourite talent show of the East German secret police?

Stasi-n Their Eyes

News Just In...

Q: Where will Stephen Gateley be buried in the cemetery?

A: In the Boy Zone.

Politics!

Which peer is head of a commitee dedicated to breeding noisier horses?

Lord More-whinney

A veil-iant effort

What's the best food to eat while wearing an Islamic veil?

Niqab-ockerglory

Gogogoch!

A: I climbed a mountain in Wales the other day; weather was awful!

B: Snowdon?

A: Well, it was more sleety, but that was still pretty bad!

Punchy

A man beat his wife up whilst getting dressed for work.

He was a cross dresser.

Grumpy Brass

Q: What do you call a prostitute who can't stop complaining and whinging about her rancid itchy minge?
A: A hormone.

Another honeymoon chortle

Q: At the French Open, what did John McEnroe say to the umpire, who also happened to be a duck?

A: You canard be serious.

Chili Sauce Bosphorous?

Q: How do you shut Donna up?

A: Shush Kebab

One I made up on honeymoon

Q: What do you call a person who gets turned on by Greek cheese?

A: A Fetashist.

If you've got a problem, if no one else can help, try your mum.

Post A-Team, what is Dirk Benedict's favourite band?

Face No More

Casawanker

Q: Which African city is the most sour?

A: Tangier.

Me again

Why was the obsessive pedicurist always nicking things from his customers?

Because he was a clip-toe maniac

Crunch

The government today was trying to talk up this countries economy.Peter Mandelson was reported to say that we are experiencing green shoots.In response to his comment the Chancellor Alastair Darling said that he expects buds in May.

I've been away for a while.

Q: There are two vans sitting in a parking lot. How can you tell which is the more extravagant and flamboyant of the two?

A: The camper van.

Cosmic Horse- finger on the pulse

Why was Shilpa Shetty so upset when somebody gave her an expenseive green jewel as a present?

Because she doesn't like jade goodies

Interesting image

Which Grammy award-winning composer wrote the Pink Panther theme while wearing a revealing item of male swimwear?

Henry Mankini

A quivering, gelatinous chunk of mystery meat

A) My wife went to a restaurant in south-east London the other day - the food was dreadful, like something you'd feed your pet.

B) Catford?

A) No, more like dog food, but horrible all the same.

quack

Q: What is Libyas favourite cartoon character?
A: Gaddaffy-Duck

A very convenient pun

Why do mathematicians love it when Bill Clinton's vice president dances?

Because he uses Al Gore rhythms

I don't know where this came from

What's Edward VIII's favourite type of cake?

Abdicake

Betblah blah de blah blah blah

A: My friend from the North West is very concerned about ethical eating habits.

B: Vegan?

A: No, I think he's from Ormskirk