Hello ladies - No. 2 (essentially the same joke as the previous one)

Q: Why couldn't any of the women understand the single man's handwriting?

A: Because he was an illegible bachelor.

Hello ladies - No. 1

Q: Why did all the women want to use the same kitchen utensil to flip their pancakes?

A: Because it was an eligible spatula.

Monster hits

Which species of dinosaur, despite its tiny arms, never travels without its um-berella?

Rihannasaurus Rex

Good bacteria for those jurassic guts

Which airborne dinosaur subsisted on a diet of probiotic yoghurt?

Pterodactimel

And another! These terrible lizards are a joke goldmine!

Which species of dinosaur was made entirely from large lego bricks?

Duplodocus

Reader, I am an anachronism.

Which species of dinosaur (and her sisters) wrote a range of novels full of scenes of nineteenth century domesticity?

Brontesaurus

Dinosaurs are back!

Which species of dinosaur founded a chain of men's clothing stores dealing in cravats and other neckwear and accessories?

Tie-rack-osaurus

Floaters

Q: What is the science of bubbles?
A:Fizzics

Transformarama #5

Q) What's Optimus Prime's favourite sport?

A) Badmintron

Transformarama #4

Q) Which football team does Optimus Prime support?

A) Evertron

Transformarama #3

Q) What does Optimus Prime take for indigestion?

A) Gavestron

Transformarama #2

Q) Who is Optimus Prime's blonde bimbo girlfriend?

A) Paris Hiltron

Transformarama #1

Q) Where does Optimus Prime buy his jumpers?

A) Benettron

It's not Vienna- that's not even in the Mediterranean!

Which Balaeric Island does the lead singer of Ultravox like to visit on holiday?

Midge-Ure-ca

Sex Files on Main Street

Why did Mick Jagger go on a rampage after discovering that his favourite publisher of lesbian porn novels had gone out of business?

Because he couldn't get no sapphic fiction

Ooh, a theme!

What do Geordies use to go online?

A why-aye connection

I've never heard a cornea punchline

Why did the technophile surgeon decide to replace his spouse's optic nerve?

Because he wanted a better wife-eye connection

Gramatically bad linguisitc joke.

Q: Why did the French man have a special place to hide all his money?

A: It was his caché.

In Exile From Main Street

Q: Why did Mick Jagger fail to overthrow the government?

A: Because he can't get no rebel faction.



Tara you rebel, thanks for the awful joke.

I'll be back....with more bad jokes.

A bit rude for my taste, but I'll post it anyway

Which American band likes to spend their time whipping vaginal labia?

The Flay-minge-lips

Tellybox

The BBC has commissioned a new gritty soap opera set in a Belgian port. It’s called OstEnders.

Jokeasaurus Rex

Which dinosaurs are always really indecisive when they go clothes shopping?

Try-several-tops

Golf balls

Q: How did the golfer celebrate?

A: He had a par tee.

Calcutta Condominium

this admittedly isnt one of mine but was just posted 30mins ago by someone i know...

why are indians so diabolical at birth control?
because they use poppadoms as contraception.

A bit base

What do you call a mentally handicapped lion?

A Leo 'tard

Convoluted

What do you call somebody who's due to inherit a large church seating and biro/ razor empire?

A pew-bic heir

Emerald

Whale Oil Beef Hooked...Try saying this fast, it makes you Irish

Friends: The One Where Chandler Goes a Bit Mental

A lost edit of the episode where Chandler freaks out on his wedding day.

Really just derivative of the Matthew Perry joke below but I thought 'Sod that I'm going to give it its own post' and anyone who objects: Bums to you!

Q: Which brand of car is within most poeple's financial means?

A: A Ford.