Saturday, 24 February 2007

Friday, 23 February 2007

McMinimalist Clan

Encoding Jokes 3: Please Stop

Q: Why did Steve Irwin prefer the benefits of HD DVD?

A: Because he was once stung by a Blu-Ray.

Wednesday, 21 February 2007

Paris, Greece

Q: Why was Helen of Troy hired as the Spokesperson for a new laxative?

A: Because she was the face that launched a thousand shits.

Misheard Blockbuster

Tuesday, 20 February 2007

National Lampoon's ASBO Adventure

Q: What do you get if you cross an American comic actor with a Burberry-wearing youth running away from the law?

A: Chavy Chase.

Monday, 19 February 2007

The Not-So-Thin Man

Q: What do you get if you cross a Dashiell Hammett novel with a chocolate?

A: The Malteser Falcon.

Sunday, 18 February 2007

Esoteric East European Explained

Q: What do Mikheil Saakashvili and Ray Charles have in common?

A: They both have Georgia on their mind.

This Joke Should Really Be Extinct

Q: What do you call a Greek dinosaur?

A: A Diplopadopoulos.

Friday, 16 February 2007

Numb Numbers

Q: What do you call a fake number game?

A: A Pseudo-Ku.

Thursday, 15 February 2007

Geeks With Hygiene Issues (Like NWA Without The A Or The N)

Q: What is the smelliest computer game ever?

A: Pong.

Ezekiel 25:17 Without The Bloodshed

Q: Why won't Samuel L Jackson fly with Easyjet?

A: Because there's no snacks on the plane.

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

Hong Kong Pong

Q: What was the ugliest period in Chinese history?

A: The Ming Dynasty.

Diplomatic Dinners

Q: What does the Secretary-General of the United Nations eat after a night out on the town?

A: A Kofte Annan Kebab.

Tuesday, 13 February 2007

Ripe And Off

Q: Which Fruit is the most like a departing husband?

A: A Mango.

Dirty Quarry

Q: Which Hollywood star is made of stone?

A: Flint Eastwood.

A: Rock Hudson.

A: Sharon Sandstone.

A: Marl Brando.

Monday, 12 February 2007

Bird Joke Compendium No.3

Sunday, 11 February 2007

The Godfather of Carbonated Liquid

Q: Why did Marlon Brando stop drinking fizzy Orange soft drinks in France?

A: Because he had his last Tango in Paris.

Ramsey Street Occupations No.1

Q: What do you call a Neighbours character who carves toilets out of wood?

A: Lou Carpenter.

A collaboration with Dave Barker & the jokemeister that is Pete Southwood, as a birthday present for Graham "I've been to Australia" Battersby.

Saturday, 10 February 2007

More Superbowl Contoversy

Q: What went wrong when Janet Jackson staged a concert in Narnia?

A: She suffered from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe Malfunction.

Thursday, 8 February 2007

Name Wars: Superbowl Special

Bedside Manners

Q: Whats the difference between a doctor and George W. Bush?

A: One takes the hippocratic oath the other is a hypocritic oaf

Wednesday, 7 February 2007

Canapé Calamity

Q: Who is the most hip person you could invite to your dinner party?

A: The Zeitguest.

Tuesday, 6 February 2007

As Served In The Rover's Return

Q: What do soap stars get for lunch?

A: Coronation Street Chicken.

Monday, 5 February 2007

Organic Chemistry In Action

Q: What is the most common Atomic Element in Baghdad?

A: Car Bomb.

Friday, 2 February 2007

Haile Selassie Wouldn't Be Impressed...

Q: Which County is the most like an approving Rastafarian?

A: Yeman!

Q: Which Country is the most like a disapproving Rastafarian?

A: Oman.

Thursday, 1 February 2007

Number 75, Please

Q: What is the nosiest Chinese dish?

A: Peking Duck.