Sunday, 31 January 2010

Hit TV Pitch

Did you hear about Channel 4's new show in which farmers go to each others harvests and secretly rate each other?

It's called 'Combine With Me'.

Friday, 29 January 2010


Q: Why were the unruly people no longer allowed in the bar owned by an Oscar winning Spanish actor?

A: Javier Bardem.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Topical Football Joke (sort of)

Q. What do grandma-shagging Wayne Rooney and Rafa Benitez have in common?

A. They both like a bit of the Old Lady

Allez allez!

What do you call a former French president who drives a taxi?

Francois Meter-on

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Crystal Not-So-Amazing

Q: Why does Richard O'Brien always leave the pub at last orders?

A: Because he hates lock-ins.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Cunterbury Tales

Which 12th Century poet was a bit of a dodgy geezer?

Geoffrey Chancer

Crystal Amazing No. 5

Q: Where does Richard O'Brien go for pasta?

A: The Calzone.

Crystal Amazing No. 4

Q: Where would Richard O'Brien go if he wasn't bald and wanted a really cool hair do?

A: The Fro-Zone.

Crystal Amazing No.3

Q: How Richard O'Brien get from North Korea to South Korea?

A: He goes through the Demilitarized Zone.

Crystal Amazing No.2

Q: How does Richard O'Brien win Irish singing crystals?

A: He goes to the Boy Zone.

Monday, 18 January 2010

Crystal Amazing No.1

Q) How does Richard O'Brien relax?

A) He goes into the Comfort Zone.


Q: What is the most musical fruit?

A: Chuckberry.

Friday, 15 January 2010

Just like that!

Why did Tommy Cooper's wife leave him?

Because he had a fez.

Special offer joke! 2-4-1!

Q: Where in London can you go and look at David Cameron, Boris Johnson and George Osborne?

A: The Greenwich Observe a Tory.

Q: Where in London can you go and look at Oaks, Beeches, Larches and Weeping Willows?

A: The Greenwich Observe a Tree.

Two of the price of one for you!

Thursday, 14 January 2010


Q: What is C. S. Lewis' favourite fruit?

A: A banarnia

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

A Smorgasbord of Football

Q: What is the most unappetising thing you can be served in the FIFA headquaters canteen?

A: Sepp Platter.


Q: How do you make an Irishman cry?

A: Knock them out of the World Cup with a handball assist.

The Greengrocer of Doom

Q: What do you call a gloomy vegetable?

A: A Melancholyflower.

A big thank you to miss Teri Rosenbaum for that.

Friday, 8 January 2010

Tuesday, 5 January 2010


Q: Why was the bigot scared to return to his house?

A: Because he was homophobic.