Sarkozy's New Playing Field
Q: Who is the most conservative player at Arsenal?
A: Kolo Tory. But Eboue is more right wing. And Gallas is a right cunt.
Courtesy of Mike "Prince" Albert. Top work from a top chap.
Friday 28 March 2008
Tuesday 25 March 2008
Vermin
Q: Why are squirrels so jealous of teachers?
A: Because they are not invited to the NUT conference.
left right left...
Q:Why did the Generals troops do most of the things he said most of the time.
A:Because he was generally speaking.
Monday 24 March 2008
Historical (s)laughter
Q. What's the funniest bank holiday film epic?
A. Ben hur hur hur he he he ha ha
Catches flies just like flies....
Q: Why is Spiderman so good at Free Running?
A: Because by day he is Peter Parkour.
Wednesday 19 March 2008
Which came first...?
Q: Why did all the Hens rise up and overthrow the head Cock on the farm?
A: It was a Chicken Coup.
Sunday 16 March 2008
Friday 14 March 2008
For Fuck's Sake, Not Again....
Q: Where in the USA do they go to watch the likes of Andy Murray, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal?
A: Tennessee.
Thursday 13 March 2008
Scraping The Bottom Of Dionysus's Barrel
Athenian: "There's not much to see on Crete."
Spartan: "Really?!? What about the Palace of Knossos? Gortyn? The ruins of Phaistos?"
Athenian: "Apparently alls thats there is a minor tour."
Said best in a Cornish accent for some reason.
Wednesday 12 March 2008
Generic Police joke...
Q: Why don't the Police like emails?
A: Because they like to stick to the fax.
Tuesday 11 March 2008
Someone must've made this joke before...
Which Greek Goddess has the most seventies hair style?
Afro-dite
Tick, Tick, Tick, BOOM!
Q: Why are suicide bombers popular at parties?
A: Because they like to have a blast.
Absolutely, definately been made before.
Monday 10 March 2008
Ooh, What A Gas!
Q: How do the Greek Gods know how much energy they are consuming on Mount Olympus?
A: They look at Demeter.
Too highbrow, historically inaccurate and not funny... but I'm posting it anyway, so stick that in yer pipe and smoke it.
What did the British amabassador to China say to Chairman Mao when he said he reckoned Britain wouldn't give up its Far Eastern holdings in the wake of World War II?
Do you want Tibet?
Contraceptive Inspector
Why was the defendant's confession rejected after it was revealed the police had bullied him into signing by sticking a condom on his head?
Because it was obtained under Durex
Scoop: Trappist in Speaking Fury!
What type of paper do South American Buddhist camelids read?
The Daily Llama
Yeah, I know it's the name of the doctor and not the monster...
Which type of curry does Frankenstein most like to get down his neck?
Bolty
I can't be bothered to think of a proper title for this joke...
What is a mollusc's favourite industrial band?
Nine Inch Snails
Catch me if you can
Q: What did the Tomato say to the chip as he passed him in a running race?
A: Ketch-up
Rosemary
Q: Why did Fred West say in an interview to the police that he would have made a good childrens broadcaster?
A: Because he had a young captive audience.
A sequence of on and off switches
Q: What do you call a load of 1's and 0's being spun round in a Tombola?
A: A digital revolution
Airwave
Q: What do you call someone that listens to suicidal whiney guitar based music who hasn't got a face for TV?
A: Radiohead
Thursday 6 March 2008
Vauxhall Roundhead
Have you heard about the English Civil War? Apparently we had a bit of tiff, but then were very polite and apologetic about it afterwards.
Phonetic Formula Fails Thoroughly
Q: Why is 16 the favourite number for fans of Rubik's Cube?
A: Because it's four squared, people.
Wednesday 5 March 2008
I fell over
I fell over and bashed my head on the sink yesterday,or was it today I'm unsure..? I think I must have passed out with the pain.The funny thing is when I awoke I had this vision, a weird dream... so I nobbled a couple of Ibuprofens..The vision bugged me so I thought I would draw a sketch of what I saw...
Tuesday 4 March 2008
Old gits
Q: What do misserable, old, grumpy, red faced, post-menstrual, women like to chew on for a sugar hit?
A:Whine Gums
Monday 3 March 2008
Not Nacho Men
Q: Why were the Builder, Soldier, Cop, Cowboy, Lumberjack and Indian Chief uncomfortable in the city?
A: Because they were more Village People.
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