Friday, 20 February 2009

In Soviet Russia, joke laughs at you

I was at the beach in Russia the other day when I spotted a jetski out on the water... Then I noticed there was a whole load of them... There was Ilya Jetski, Vladimir Jetski, Sergei Jetski, Boris Jetski, Aleksei Jetski...

Thursday, 19 February 2009

A V-Bomb Silence

Why were bald men not allowed to speak during World War II?

Because hairless talk costs lives

Monday, 16 February 2009

A bad joke that you need to say out loud.

Q: Why did Satan get dressed up in fancy dress when crossing the Atlantic in an areoplane?

A: Because he was the Devil in de skies.

Jokes that'd be better with a photo #1

Q) Who's the moodiest it-girl in the Shire?

A) Peaches Gandalf

I corrected this joke twice... It's the second amendment... Do you see?

Q) Why did Abraham Lincoln always wear a t-shirt?

A) Because he had the right to bare arms

Saturday, 14 February 2009

Rattling Peas

Q: Why are referees getting fustrated and annoyed?
A: Because there are so many other whistleblowers at the moment.

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Slightly topical, but not much

Which Israeli politician was most responsible for bringing the internet to the Holy Land?

Benjamin Net 'n' Yahoo!

Saturday, 7 February 2009


Q: Why was Cesc Fabregas so embarassed and crying in Arsene Wengers arms..?

A: Because he was caught by his manager with his razor in hand bent over 'Arse-shaving' the newest player from Russia in the showers...

Friday, 6 February 2009

Snow is no joke and neither is this crap pun.

Q: Which city is populated by cannibals who like to consume thier former lovers?

A: Exeter.

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Another stupid man who doesn't understand the basic rules of his profession

Why, after creating a virulent flesh-eating disease, did the virologist give his young child to his sister to coo and fuss over?

Because he wanted to make an auntie dote

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

You'd have to be pretty stupid to try this

Why did the writer's block-stricken author of detective fiction decide to leave the creation of his next novel to a bisected traffic calming prop and a can of Castrol GTX?

Because he'd heard that many of the genre's great works had been written by half a cone and oil

Monday, 2 February 2009

Fuck! Shit! Bollocks! Wank! Hoot hoot!

Why did the little boy start swearing uncontrollably when his parents gave him a pair of verminous rodents as a birthday present?

Because he had two rats syndrome