Friday, 30 May 2008

"A HR type joke" or is it "An HR type joke"?

Q: Why did the interviewee get burns on their bottom?

A: Becase they were put in the hot seat.

Thursday, 29 May 2008

Just a quickie...

Where do fish go to sing?

Choral reefs

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Straight outta Stratford Upon Avon

Q. What is the American national football team's favourite Shakespeare play?

A. Much Adu About Nothing

Straight Outta CBeebies

A bit of pop culture trivia for you - did you know that gangsta rappers NWA's first apartment was rented from the Tellytubbies? But it turns out that despite their cuddly personas on TV, off screen the Tellytubbies are right bastards, and made for awful landlords. Unfortunately, despite the threat of legal action, NWA found it hard to break their contract, so they wrote a song to vent their anger - "Fuck tha Po lease! Fuck, fuck tha Po lease!"

"Naked lunch" - i.e. without any dressing on the salad

Q) Which small mammal likes to dig tunnels and write cut-up beatnik fiction about drugs and dystopias?

A) William S. Burrows

Homemade Jokes - You either love it or you hate it

Q) Which small squirrel type mammal tastes disgusting? (Well, I personally think it tastes disgusting, but apparently some people love it spread on their toast...)


Monday, 26 May 2008

Farc You

Friday, 23 May 2008

Happy Birthday Hirekatsu!

Q: Why do transvestites get ready in a huff?

A: Because they are cross-dressers.

A variation on a theme.

Thursday, 22 May 2008

More Lorry Fun

Why was the ornithologist so excited when he saw the big lorry execute a complicated manoeuvre in the middle of the road?

Because he'd seen an artic turn

Wednesday, 21 May 2008


Q: Why did the man decide to steal an egg beater from the shop?

A: He wanted to take a whisk.

Monday, 19 May 2008

All I Remember From GCSE German In Joke Form

Q: Why did Felix Fritzl always hate it when Josef came down into his cramped living space?

A: Because he thought he was a Grossfarter.

Saturday, 17 May 2008

Friday, 16 May 2008


Q:Why are Fat People tunnel visioned?
A: Because they have bad Profiterol vision.

A return to a more innocent brand of homemade joke

What type of mobile phones do puppets use?


Austrian Bored Games

Wizardry by chocomuesli, not Josef Fritzl. Top work chap!

"Hello... French polishers...? It's just possible you could save my life..."

Q) Why is a furniture restorer like a greengrocer?

A) They both work to salvage tables

A sexist joke

Q: What do women like to drink in the afternoon once a month?

A: PM Tea.

Thursday, 15 May 2008

Way Too Late But Never Mind

Q: When asked at a press conference about his celebrity support, London mayorial candidate Brian Paddick spoke at length about Elton John and David Furnish. The wag's second question to the gay ex-copper was; "What about your former collegues in the Village People?"

Dum de de dum dum

Q: What is the best place to sell your stringed instruments that were popular from the early renaissance to the late baroque eras?

A: Lute Magazine.

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Back to my Misogynistic Best!

Why was the middle-aged woman irritated by her husband's inability to decide what to eat in the posh restaurant?

Because she was suffereing through the menu-pause

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Gusty Performance From Number 22

Q: Which stereotypical wind blows down the left side of Arsenal's team?

A: Gaël Cliché.

Fore! (I Did Warn You)

Q: Why is Tiger Woods so good at editing on an Apple Mac?

A: Because he's a Final Putt Pro.

Oh little town of babybelthlehem

Q: Why did the Babybel Cheese factory become more religiously important than any other shrine in the world?

A: Because it was reported that Baby Cheeses was spotted there.

Hollywood Sex Videos

Monday, 12 May 2008

A Golf Pun

Q: What is Tiger Wood's favourite snack?

A: Chip puttie and a cup of Tee.

Saturday, 10 May 2008

The jokes must go on...

Q: Why did the bad actor become an alcoholic?

A: Because at the end of each show he had lots of boos.

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Poor Old Tony Hart...

An archaeological team have uncovered the fossilised remains of a small animal said to resemble Hartbeat star Morph. A carbon dating test has revealed that the creature hails from the Plastocene Era.

Monday, 5 May 2008

Since I haven't Posted in a While...

What type of crayons do Cajun people use?