Wednesday, 25 November 2009


I saw someone pickpocket a midget the other day.
How could someone stoop so low..?

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

My Way

Q: What did Frank Sinatra say when he was asked if he had eaten enough herons?

A: "Egrets! I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention."

Monday, 23 November 2009

A 7 year old made up this joke last week

Q: What is a fish's favourite website?

A: An official website.

Props to an child at a school in west London that shall remain anonymous.

Friday, 20 November 2009

Causality In Effect

Q: Why do you vomit everywhere if you drink too much American lager?

A: Because it's Coors and Effect.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

Two in one day- this is more like it!

Why did the angry mob attack the baker who obsessively put mange tous in all his products?

Because he was a pea/dough-phile

First homemade joke in ages- my muse has left me!

Why was the camping obsessive arrested when he had a lie-in on holiday?

Because he was loitering within tent

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

To The Point

Q: Why are round things shit?

A: Because they are fucking pointless.

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Dishonourable Discharge

Q: Which is the randiest helicopter?

A: The Chinookie.

Sartre's Little Helper

Q: Why did the French existential kitten do a poo in the garden?

A: Because it chat itself.

Friday, 13 November 2009

One For Cosmic Horse

Q: Which Polish goalkeeper has many sides?

A: Jerzy Dudekahedron.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Does This Actually Make Sense?

Q: How do you honour unclean teeth?

A: With plaque.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

I Found The Missing Joke Book!!!!!!

Q: Why are sailors never late for a wedding?

A: Because it's maritime.

There is only a few left but hopefully it will get the creative juices running.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Its gone a bit quiet around here lately...

Q: How do buffalo celebrate their 200th birthday?

A: They have a bisontenary.

Courtesy of Matt 'Fernando' Hull.