It's In The Delivery...

Q: Where in Africa is take-away food most popular?

A: Togo.

Old, But Definitely Not Gold.

Plastic People

Q: Why does Ken choose to go to cultural centres in London?

A: Because Barbican.

Meteorology Is Never Funny

Q: Where does air pressure go to practice law?

A: At the isobar.

Nazi Cuisine

Q: What do you get if you cross noodles with a fascist tract?

A: Chicken Chow Mein Kampf.

Retail Classics

Q: Which two classical composers should you take with you to the supermarket?

A: Chopin, Liszt.

The Girl With The Pearl Necklace

Q: Why did Scarlett Johansson fail her French exam?

A: Beacause she was last in translation.

Don't Fuck With Devon. Or Hippies.

Q: Why should you be wary of incense and young English soul singers?

A: Beacause Joss Sticks and Joss Stone can break your bones....

Where The Streets Have No Name

Q: Where is Bono's favourite area in London?

A: Acton, Baby!

Works Better When Said Aloud, But Not By Much

25 Is The Magic Number

Q: Which atomic element is fluent in Japanese comics?

A: Manganese.

The Frying Squad

Q: Why are the Police always raiding cake shops?

A: Because the proof is in the pudding.

Frozen Assets

Q: What was the highest honour bestowed on Captain Birdseye?

A: He was awarded the Nobel Peas Prize.

Bird Joke Compendium No.4

Pimp My City

Q: Where do French prostitutes go when they visit Pakistan?

A: Lahore.

You Make Me Feel Like A Piss Tube

Q: Which soul singer sounds the most like part of the penis?

A: Urethra Franklin.