Tinky Winky!

Q: Why is the red Teletubbie so stern?

A: Because he's Po-faced.

I Am A Guinea Pig

Q: How do people in the Andes cool their faces?

A: With Chin-Chillers.

Pound your doughy mounds until they are maliable and soft.

Q: Which African nation is full of domestic goddesses?

A: Nigeria Lawson

A bad, bad joke...

Which investigative technique is best carried out overseas?

Foreign-sics

Another Souker Douker Joke.

Q: Where in Morocco do all the people live in hutches?

A: Rabat.

Jokie Brown

Courtsey of Cosmic Horse

Vive la France!

Which European leader is the best at carrying footwear?

Jacques Shoe-rack

Quick'n'dirty

Q: What's green and handy?

A: A green hand

Precious mentals

Q: What do you call an arsehole covered in silver paint?

A: A human statue

Billy No Mates

Q: Where in Spain do people with no friends go on holiday?

A: Barcaloner.

There's No Genie In This Bottle

Q: What do Ali Baba's children watch?

A: Open Sesame street.

Va-va-voom!

Who is the most bored player in world football?

Thierry Ennui

Obscure footballer joke

Which fromer Middlesbrough player is most enthusiastic about finding work?

Joseph Desire-a-job

Thanks to Pip Morris for this one

A shaggy dog story.

Q: Why did the man chuck his dog on the railway track?

A: He was trying to train it.

Competition Time

Which place, when you take a sneaky look, is at the top of its game, as the monarch of mange-tout?

I've Got The Poison, I've Got The Remedy

Q: Why did Liam Howlett always finish top of the class?

A: Because he was a Prodigy.

Don't Crucify Me

Q:How did the Messiah show his dislike of household chores?

A: Jesus Swept.


courtesy of my mum.

Acid Jihad! (Good name for a band...)

Which terrorist organisation has the lowest ph value?

Alkalieda

I can't be bothered to think of a title...

Which nuts have the best education?

Academia nuts

This joke a-noise me

Q: What goes Boom Boing Click Click Beep, Boom Boing Click Click Beep?

A: Minimal techno

One of "those" jokes

A user, a usability consultant, and an information architect are in a hot air balloon.

"I'm lost, aren't I?" complains the user.

"It's not a problem," says the usability consultant, "I'll just make some adjustments to the basket here, these ropes here, the burner... There we go, it should be much easier for you to steer now."

"Actually," says the information architect, "I've drawn you a map."

Jesse Owens Wins Again

Q: Why were the Nazi's always in a hurry?

A: Because they were in the aryan race.

On Heat

A: Did I ever tell you that I used to be a celebrity stalker? It started off innocently enough, collecting autographs and the like. But then I became a bit obsessed, and started to hang around celeb hang outs to try and catch a glimpse of someone famous. Then it got even worse, and whenever I spotted someone from a band or whatever, I'd follow them down the street. One day I was walking behind Mick Jagger, and I don't know what came over me, but I was lost in the moment, and just suddenly smacked him on the arse.

B: That's terrible!

A: Yes, I'd hit rock bottom.

There's Norfolking Chance This Is Going Anywhere

Q: Which Norfolk town is overrun with pseudopigs?
A: Fakenham.

This is the (Norfolk) News

Continuing a theme started by The Count....

Q: What newspapers do they read in Norfolk?

A: Broadsheets.


From Ros McCullough.

Prehysterical Humor

Q: What do you call a caveman with Tom Selleck's moustache?

A: Cro Magnum man

"Forget it Jake, it's Joketown."

Part One

This One's Norfolking Good Either

Q: Which village in Norfolk is the loudest at night?

A: Great Snoring.

Guess you'll see where this is going...

Q: What do you call a harem girl covered in spikes?

A: A poncubine

Forbidden love...

What was the name of the Cold War flaspoint in which Kennedy and Kruschev nearly triggered nuclear armageddon after disagreeing over their live-in mistresses?

The Concubine Missile Crisis

What machinery would an Arab sheikh use when he wants to beef up his harem?

A Concubine Harvester

It's Norfolk Good (whatever that means)

Q: Where in Norfolk can you go to hear an awesome story?

A: Great Yarn-mouth

Actually, here's some breaking news:

Which newsreader likes to play the piano?

Natasha Kerplinkplonsky

And Finally...

Q: Which newsreader fills her head with marbles, impales her middle with plastic rods, then encourages other people to carefully remove the rods one by one, trying not to displace the marbles balancing on them?

A: Natasha Kerplunksky

Wrestling Joke #4 (of 83)

Q: What did Chris Benoit do when his kid made him angry?

A: He showed him his cross face

Mixing it up

I bought a mixer the other day, to DJ records with. But it went a bit wrong, so I had to take it back to the shop.

"What seems to be the problem?" asked the man in the shop.

"Well, when I mix between records, I can hear someone shouting at me angrily. And when I try and adjust the balance control, someone calls me a tosser."

"Ah," said the man, "That'll be the cross fader."

"And the insults?"

"Well, the balance control's definitely a knob."