Now for something completely different
Where do you keep old muesli?
In a mueslium
Thursday, 30 July 2009
This will be the last funny place name joke. I promise.*
Q: Where do randy French men like to go?
A: Here.
*Not strictly a real promise.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Quantum Physics 2
Q. How was Sam in Quantum Leap outclassed in his David Bowie impersonation?
A. Ziggy played guitar
Monday, 27 July 2009
Big Man On Campus
Q: Why should you always praise Robert Altman, but never David Fincher?
A: Don't hate The Player, hate The Game.
Friday, 24 July 2009
From out of Nowhere
Why was the pilot able to see the faraway drawing pins strewn in his path before take-off?
Because he was tack-seeing down the runway
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Ping Pong Sing Song
Q: What do Roger Federer and a chat-room groomer have in common?
A: They both lurk about the net looking to smash little balls.
could use a little work! Any suggestions?
Saturday, 18 July 2009
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Flogging The Unfunny Horse
Mr Pantomime: "Sorry, do you know where my best years are?"
Mr Entertainment History: "They're behind you!"
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Allegedly
Which affable cockney actor likes to cut the dermis off prostitutes and parade around in jackets made from their desecrated flesh?
Bob Ho-skins
Monday, 6 July 2009
There Is No Redemption For This One
Q: How do Germans greet a Hollywood star who's just been released after a night in the cells?
A: Guten Morgan Freeman.
Better read than said number whatever number it is
Why do they only employ Australians or New Zealanders as dean at the multi-faith ant/ hippo university?
Because they're ant-hippo-deans
Friday, 3 July 2009
Hello ladies - No. 2 (essentially the same joke as the previous one)
Q: Why couldn't any of the women understand the single man's handwriting?
A: Because he was an illegible bachelor.
Hello ladies - No. 1
Q: Why did all the women want to use the same kitchen utensil to flip their pancakes?
A: Because it was an eligible spatula.
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