Casawanker

Q: Which African city is the most sour?

A: Tangier.

Me again

Why was the obsessive pedicurist always nicking things from his customers?

Because he was a clip-toe maniac

Crunch

The government today was trying to talk up this countries economy.Peter Mandelson was reported to say that we are experiencing green shoots.In response to his comment the Chancellor Alastair Darling said that he expects buds in May.

I've been away for a while.

Q: There are two vans sitting in a parking lot. How can you tell which is the more extravagant and flamboyant of the two?

A: The camper van.

Cosmic Horse- finger on the pulse

Why was Shilpa Shetty so upset when somebody gave her an expenseive green jewel as a present?

Because she doesn't like jade goodies

Interesting image

Which Grammy award-winning composer wrote the Pink Panther theme while wearing a revealing item of male swimwear?

Henry Mankini

A quivering, gelatinous chunk of mystery meat

A) My wife went to a restaurant in south-east London the other day - the food was dreadful, like something you'd feed your pet.

B) Catford?

A) No, more like dog food, but horrible all the same.

quack

Q: What is Libyas favourite cartoon character?
A: Gaddaffy-Duck