Have I posted this before?

New obscenity legislation means that the Cerne Abbas Giant must now be depicted as clothed. Apparently, his new outfit will be designed by Tommy Hill-figure.

Wobbly Legs

Why is the Lord of the Dance such a terrible taxi driver?

Because Flatley will get you nowhere.

Up the duff

Q: Why was the pregnant woman so irritable?

A: Because she was using a TENSE machine.

Italian humour

Q: How much does a single piece of pasta cost?

A: One penne.