A sad but true story

Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were trying for a baby but were having no luck because little Tommy was impotent. They decided to visit a nearby maternity ward in the hope of pinching a ladys baby whilst she was distracted by her lovely flowers or her stitches or something. Unfortunately all the greedy mothers were paying quite a lot of attention to their new babys and Tom and Nicole were unable to do the dirty deed. Then out of the corner of her eye Nicole spotted a plastic bag containing a small lock of babys hair and a few toenail clippings.

'Ah bonza!' shrieked Nicole, 'we could av these bits and nobody would give a shit'

'No fuck that' replied Tom, 'we gotta nick a whole kid man!'