Bottle it
Q:What did the bottle of Spanish Sparkling wine say to bottle of French Champagne as it cried whilst lonely in the night upon the supermarket shelf?
A: Ca va?
Friday 29 February 2008
Tuesday 26 February 2008
Monday 25 February 2008
Weird, not funny, anthropomorphic joke
Why couldn't the motorway agree to the controversial proposal?
Because it had a central reservation
A Mighty Erection
Q) Why is the Empire State Building a little bit crap?
A) Because it has many floors.
Q) Why is it amusing in the pub?
A) It has many stories.
Q) Why does it have an interesting subtext?
A) Because it works on many levels.
Q) The Empire State Building - does the ground rub her?
A) No, the sky scrape her.
Sunday 24 February 2008
Thursday 21 February 2008
I Spy Trouser Pie.
I bought some knocked off designer jeans the other day. I put them on but then they immediately shouted "Shaddap Your Face" at me.
Turns out they were Joe Dolce & Gabbana jeans.
This works if you say it in mockney.
Q:Why did the cockney not buy his normal shampoo and opt for a cheaper brand?
A: Cos it waz a pan-tene.
Wednesday 20 February 2008
The Count's Mother Strikes Again
Q: What is the most popular drink can you buy from a vending machine in an STD clinic?
A: A Clappachino
I'm so proud.
Jokers block
When questioned by his mate edward scissorhands about what his favourite hair-do was Austin Powers replied...
"Oh Beehive"
Saturday 16 February 2008
More Football Stuff
Why was the dyslexic footballer angry with his manager?
Because he thought he was going to be put in gaol.
Achtung!
Why was the Arsenal goalkeeper able to understand the complicated scientific theory?
Because it was explained to him in Lehmann's terms
Thursday 14 February 2008
Agent Provocateur
Q) Why are all the jokes on this blog like my girlfriend's underwear?
A) They're pretty pants
Wednesday 13 February 2008
Friday 8 February 2008
MitteRandy
Q: What do Monsieur Sarkozy and Monsieur Muscle have in common?
A: They are both French-Polish.
Works Better Read Than Said - Cultural Difference
Q: Which Eastern European people have the most shine and sparkle?
A: The Polish.
Groomers
Q: Why is the Gay community scared in the current climate of terrorist threat.
A: They are worried that within their own community young guys are being groomed and turned into suicide bummers.
No more
After 30 years of production the BBC has "just said no" to continuing to produce the once popular kids drama Grange Hill. The original cast are financially devastated, with no more repeat fees and reunions with Justin Lee Collins to keep them afloat. One member of the original cast famous for overdosing on smack in the toilets was clever and diversified his interests and investments.I am happy to report that he is cleaning up his act and is now the face of an industrial strength cleaning agent.
Thursday 7 February 2008
Wednesday 6 February 2008
News Flash
A cannibal has just been arrested in Hollywood.It has been reported that he is very partial to dining on Hollywoods leading ladies. When questioned about his recent victims he told CNN that he really enjoyed eating Reese With a Spoon.
Monday 4 February 2008
Do do do, de de doo do.
Q: What instrument does someone who understands your problems use to make electronic music?
A: A sympathiser.
good prez, as described, would use again. A+++
Q: Where does Abraham Lincoln get his Ebay orders sent?
A: To his Gettysburg address.
Friday 1 February 2008
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